[ - flat . cat . industries // .: I hate you

Australia is a stereotype

Fri, 17 Mar 2006 08:35:43 GMT

Constantly whored and jerked by Americans, Australia has become a steroetype.

And personally, I don't like it.

All of the lame Kangaroo, Koala and barbecue jokes have gone too far, I say. Almost everytime I make a reference to living in Australia within a chat room / general discussion board, I get one. They're becoming lamer and lamer everytime I hear them.

While this may be the problem, a problem that is just as big as that is, you can't stereotype America effectively anymore. Call them fat, they know about that. Call them stupid, they know, but aren't smart enough to do something good about it. Call them whatever you like, it's all been said before. Nothing works.

So, retaining back to the original problem...

Australia, being the rather laid-back country it is, is being insulted, and it isn't doing anything about it ! I say, we sit down, pen and paper, and lock all our best comedians in a room together, with all of our best debate'rs ( and no, politicians don't count. They're just a bunch of whiney 5-Year olds ) and let them think of the best things they can about any person from a foreign country that has stereotyped Australia.

No, I'm not being racist. I'm just saying, that Australians, as a general population, have too many sad jokes poked right in their faces.

As a general population, so what if we might like:

1. Beer

2. Barbecues

3. Our Flora and Fauna

4. Awesomely mad wicked beaches ( HA ! Let's see you Yanks beat THAT ! )

5. Sport - i.e. Football

Not all of us like that sort of stuff. A lot of us are becoming more Westernised. I really don't like that either. But, I myself, really don't like sport. Barbecues are more of a wasted social event, in my mind, because I prefer to be eating a more wholesome dinner. Beaches and outside isn't really my thing, either. Animals and plants, whoo they're native. So what. They don't do anything too interesting.

You see, Australia has become a stereotype. In my own opinion, America should stick to insulting and complaining about their own political system, instead of taking it out on our poor, defenceless country.

That's enough for this ranting.

Enjoy !

- E. K.

Gonna break these chains

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 01:12:40 GMT

Everytime you send me a chain letter, you will get a reply.

No, not just some " STOP SENDING ME FUCKING CHAIN MAIL FAGGOT OR I'LL KILL YOU " ... that'd be too easy.

You see, a true insult requires some thinking and effort. People don't understand the reason behind this. Analysis is key, in this situation.

But that doesn't matter. What does matter is that I hate all of your chain letters. Don't start them, don't send them, DON'T DO WHAT THEY SAY ! Not once, not for one second, not ever will they work ! Never ! And if you think of sending me one, starting one, or trying to get me to do something on one of them, I will make sure you go onto my Junk E-mail list ! You think that's not a big deal, eh ? Well guess what that means ? I'll then start forwarding you my junk e-mail ! Don't you just want to start finding out what the Price of penis pills are today ? Or how you could *win* your very own iPod ?

Of course you don't. So don't send me chain letters. That way, you know that you're safe from all of my junk.

In essence, a chain letter is just a desperate plea for attention by some person who really likes to be annoying. In essence, that person should be shot in both feet, but unfortunately, laws prevent me or anyone else from doing this.

Here's one of the best " send arounds " ( or so I call it, because it's not really a chain letter and doesn't matter if you send it to anyone or not ) that I got because I bugged my friend James enough.

The Four Basics Type of Chain Letters

Chain Letter Type 1

(scroll down)

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Make a wish!!!
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Really, go on and make one!!!
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Oh please, they'll NEVER go out with you!!!
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Wish something else!!!
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Not that, you pervert!!
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Are your fingers getting tired yet?
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STOP!!!!
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Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for sending him/her a stupid chain letter.

*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

*20 to 674, 951 1/2 people: 20 to 674, 951 1/2 people will be pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.

Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!

Chain Letter Type 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out.

Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder-if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!

Chain Letter Type 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 1,5067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Queer Horror Story #1
Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died.

This Could Happen To YOU!!!

Queer Horror Story #2
Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell. They continued to suffer in hell where they were both cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.

This Could Happen To You!!!

Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be OK.

Chain Letter Type 4

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends

-A friend is an angel, someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English, no sorry that's the cleaning lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of his crush doing the nasty with him to come true.

There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chain letters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, send it on!!! If you don't think it was funny at all, don't bother, but otherwise forward this sucker to everyone you know!!

If you don't, I don't care, but why not show this around? Take two minutes and forward it. Thanks!

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it. If it's a joke or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the willieless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Miranda Pinsley who ended up in a waterfall of turds) just delete it. Do yourself a favor, and everyone else in the world, and say, "#$@%CHAIN LETTERS!!"

YEAH!

So, if you read that, then you should have gotten it through your head not to send me any chain letters.

Otherwise, you will be stalked.

Enjoy !

- Elena.

What a hunk of Junk

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 12:21:40 GMT

Junk e-mail.

I'm really getting sick of it.

You can't even send it back to the arses with a friendly reminder, saying something like " Send me any more, and I'll beat you on the street and steal your credit cards " . If you do, it just verifies your e-mail address to the pricks !

And the sad thing is, my Hotmail block list is already full ! Yes, I have 200 e-mail addresses blocked. Although, that was about a year ago, and it might have changed now.

So, now I get about 8-12 stupid e-mails a day. In fact, I might even get some as I write this post tonight ! It usually occurs around 9 - 10, they start arriving, and then I'll just get more as the night passes. And worse still... I have a junk e-mail folder that fills with about 10 more !

OKay, so these numbers do seem a little low, on average, but they're still freaking annoying ! I don't give my permission for these companies that sell penis pills, pumps, swingers, " live cams " ,other dating services, stuff I could "win", and freaking " financial freedom " crap to send me all their advertising crap ! I don't care if you tell me " don't advertise my e-mail on the internet, otherwise you're asking for this " but the thing is, they aren't allowed to send it to me without my permission. I never gave permission ! And even if you go "Unsubscribe at this link" it verifies your e-mail again !

If you need some proof, here's some examples from my Junk e-mail inbox: ( Which currently has 110 Junk e-mails )

From :	Marcus Kent < marcuskent@tastrin.com > [ Since when do I know you ]
Sent :	Wednesday, 18 January 2006 7:50:51 PM [ Oh great, just a few hours ago. I was wrong ]
To :	< flat_cat63@hotmail.com > [ When did I give you permission to use this ? ]
Subject :	Financial Freedom Here Joe [ STALKER ! ]

[ Content Blocked by Hotmail ]

Obviously, this was an image with a link, as noted by the two grey squares that appeared. Fuck do I care though. I have a job.

Here's one that just recently started appearing in my e-mail:

From :	Kim Feldman < feldmankim2@wivcolumn.com > [ Let's go hack this beech ]
Sent :	Wednesday, 18 January 2006 5:14:58 PM [ Earlier ! This isn't right ! ]
To :	< flat_cat63@hotmail.com > [ You stole this didn't you ? ]
Subject :	Win Oprah's Favorite Things Joe [ Yeah, we all know what that is, don't we ? CHICKEN ! ]

[ Some content Blocked by Hotmail - won't enable for fear of spyware ]

[ < Blocked ]

<Hei,

Et enkelt MySQL / SQL spørmål (tror jeg; for de som kan det vel og merke
:-) )

Har 2 tabeller i en typisk one-2-many relasjon:


Table: Sites

SiteID  |  SiteName
------------------------------
   1        SiteName #1
   2        SiteName #2
   3        SiteName #3


PrimaryKey =3D SiteID

Table Details

SiteID |  DetailID | Timestamp             | Description
----------------------------------------------------------------
   1         1              1-1-03 00:00:00     Description #1
   1         2              1-2-03 00:00:00     Description #2
   1         3              1-4-03 00:00:00     Descroption #3
   2         4              1-1-03 00:00:00     Description #1
   2         5              1-1-03 00:00:01     Description #2

 PrimaryKey =3D SiteID, DetailID

Som vi kan se fra tabellene over har SiteID "1" 3 entries i Detail tabellen,
SiteID 2 har 2 entries, men SiteID 3 har ingen entries.

Nå ønsker jeg å lage en MySQL compatibel SQL Query som selecterer den nyeste
(som ble lagt til siste) i Detail tabellen. eksempel på resultat:

    SiteID | SiteName | Timestamp | Description
    -------------------------------------------------------
    1          SiteName #1    1-4-03 00:00:00    Description #3
    2          SiteName #1    1-3-03 00:00:01    Description #2
    3          SiteName #3    NULL                   NULL


Har prøvd noe i denne retningeng men har ikke lyktes:

    SELECT sites.SiteID, sites.SiteName, details.*
    FROM sites
    LEFT JOIN details ON sites.SiteID =3D details.SiteID
    ... ehh..

For å si det  slik så stopper det opp her...

Dette er kanskje litt off-topic.. men siden jeg da bruker Delphi 6 så håper
jeg noen er snille og hjelper meg.

mvh
Thomas

Well, this all makes me feel proud. Now the Swedish are after me.

Oh, and at the end, it says " Thomas " . I thought it was from a Kim, beeches ! Go choke Oprah, for all I care.

And for the final climax:

From :	Caoimhe Karida < Dayecmcsnkqdkaii@yahoo.com> [ With an e-mail like that, who'd go wrong ! ]
Sent :	Wednesday, 18 January 2006 2:02:17 AM [ Do you people sleep ! ]
To :	"Elena Karimah " <flat_cat63@hotmail.com> [ Woah, beeches ! From now on, call me Elena Karimah ! ]
Subject:	flat_cat63 [ Wow, they got something right. I knew a lot was about me ]

hi flat_cat63
I saw your pic on line and you are hot
add me to msn messenger my is natalielovesguys
and lets have fun there

Svhrfxqw Sdqwinnc Visapq Bychtblibr Hdsy
Cjclvbu Npsxbkuayf

EclRlnigAlx

KgalhanvgYmyvfOqo
Cskegmt

Sulhmmdbt
Xjbphsfqx

Of course you saw me online. Who hasn't. In fact, I think I starred in the porno. Since when did I start advetising my ugly, teenage face ? Since when do paedophiles use Yahoo ? Of course Natalie loves guys. Otherwise, I'd be there already. But, the other day it was "nataliesexygirl" . Make up your mind lesbian.

Whatever you do, don't click those e-mails, unless you want Junk e-mail. I've warned you.

Oh wait, if you want hot lesbian porn, maybe you could try the last e-mail. But most likely, it's another hacker or dating service. Worse than that, I bet they don't even realise how much hate I am really holding back. Oh stuff that:

FUCK JUNK E-MAIL !

So to all, don't forward me your Junk e-mail, but please, do e-mail me with any thoughts you may have, about anything really. But if you do happen to get some funny Junk e-mail, make a note of it, and I'll get back to you. Who knows, maybe you'll get featured in future.

Thoughts on future posts are also appreciated.

Enjoy !

- Elena.